Friday, May 30, 2008

Dear Man Who Called the Office Yesterday.

Dear Man Who Called the Office Yesterday,

It was so lovely to meet you over the phone. The oddity of our conversation fascinates me...when does this sort of thing happen in real life? It was as if we were in a movie [*coughSerendipitycough*], but I suppose I won't know exactly how movie-esque the encounter actually was until I have given you a few weeks. If you call back or, against all odds, rush into the office one day, windswept and carrying stargazer lilies [you would intrinsically know that those were my favorite, of course], then we are certainly star-crossed lovers who are destined to be together.

However, I highly doubt that.

Here is the thing, Kevin, I believe your name was? I feel as though I have done you a great disservice. While we may have just been killing time due to a fluke wrong number on your part, we probably talked for at least a half hour. What good did our conversation do? Did I show you Christ through our interaction? Were you able to hear His love through me? I don't think so. I'm embarrassed to have regressed back into my instinctive, flirtatious tendencies; it's so typical, and I think that you should know that there are few things I hate more than being average.

What did I have to lose by sharing my faith with you? You should have been like learning to ride a bike with training wheels on; it should have been such an automatic thing. I felt God pulling at my heart, but did I heed His direction? Never. It's just so weird -- anyone who described me as shy would have to be submitted into a psychotic ward. I am so sure. Ask me anything and I'll tell you.

I am sorry that I struggle so much with something that should be so simple; it's the coolest thing to ever happen to anyone, and you should know about it. Jesus loves me enough to die for me, and the same goes for you. He is crazy about you!! You can search your entire life for something to fill you up, to bring you joy, to give you a purpose, and maybe you'll find a decent substitute. Maybe your engineering career, or your golfing buddies, or your constant pursuit of happiness will keep you happy for a while. What happens when it doesn't, though? What happens when you feel lonely or depressed or worthless?

Everyone feels like that at times...I know that I do at least. But I have a hope in Someone so much bigger and greater and more powerful than me. He fills me up, He gives me life, He touches my heart in a place that only He can reach. I think it's safe to say that you found me at least mildly interesting, and I would assume that is because I'm different. I'm young and I love to have fun, but at the same time, I don't party or sleep around, and that is because of Who lives within me. He changed my life, and He can change yours too, if you let him.

Of course, you don't know any of this, because I didn't tell you. For that, I apologize from the bottom of my heart. I almost hope that you call back sometime, maybe when you're bored before your golf game again. I would love to tell you about who I am for real, and not just the petty, ridiculous nonsense that we talked about yesterday. I guess that's up to have the office number, after all.

Either way, thank you for helping me pass that last, painful hour or so of work. I needed the distraction in the worst way. Maybe I'll talk to you again sometime, but as you said yesterday, probably not.

Good luck with your golf game.

Oh, and my best friend Jessie thinks that you're a stalker. Just a point of interest. ;-)

1 comment:

ttcrook said...

GLHS doesnt block this site!! I am so happy, you will start having to update in the morning so I can read 'em. How are you? I was a little worried about you last night...
Love ya!!
TT Crook (My ghetto name)